The dumb American

The one downside of my Saturday of Fun in Munich was this American kid who, frankly, was just awful. So bad that I started keeping a list of things he said that annoyed me. Amongst them:

1. I was talking with the Scottish family and I brought up my dream of playing golf at St. Andrews. Dorkboy hears me talking about golf and says "Ever played Pebble? That's the only course to play. That and Olympic Club. You know, where the '98 US Open was played?" I said I was familiar with both, and while I would love to play them, St. Andrews is where the game of golf was, you know, was invented. He continued to press the relative greatness of American courses while poo-pooing the history of the sport. Kind of like arguing that Safeco Field is better than Wrigley Field in baseball. I mean, it's newer and fancier, but it lacks, um, history. He then made sure to point out that he was a 4 handicap.
2. He mentioned no fewer than 5 times that he was traveling through Europe using the $5,000 signing bonus he got from PwC to be an accountant. This fact and figure amazed a couple folks on the tour, but it was pretentious and lame.
3. He bragged about helping his dad lie on his taxes for the past couple of years.
4. He mentioned no fewer than 3 times that he stayed at his hostel on Friday night rather than going out because he was out in Prague the night before until 5am. With a girl. He actually said it that way, with a period in between the "I was out until 5 in the morning. With a girl." This managed to impress exactly no one.
5. He got into an argument with a Kiwi about how many people lived in New Zealand. This was their exact argument: Kiwi: "There are less than 5 million people in New Zealand."
   American: "No, there are barely more than 3 million." Kiwi: "Yeah, like I said, less than 5 million people." They went at it for a few more minutes, but I was busy trying to poke my eyes out.
6. A couple of us were talking about Jaegermeister when Dorkboy announced: "Are you talking about Jaeger bombs? That was our drink in college." The emphasis was on "our", as in "We created that drink, how did you know about it?
7. Some of the folks on the tour were from Rio, and after they left I said "Man, I really need to go visit Rio." Dorkboy turned to me and said "What would anyone want to go to Rio?" I thought about finding a cellphone and calling Todd at that exact moment. Who can't think of a good reason to go to Rio? Um, the beach? Carnival? Did I mentioned Carnival? The party that makes Mardi Gras look quaint?

That's all I wrote down, but you can see how proud this guy made me of my country. He wasn't quite as bad as the kids who played drinking games at the beer garden in Salzburg, but he was close. Oh well...