Turns out that Dr. Ryan is a "diva"

I had my second trip to the dentist today. As you'll remember I was a bit weirded out by the first trip, and I walked into the office with more uncertainty about the outcome of the procedures than I've felt before, at least in a dental setting. To begin with, I wasn't really sure what the procedure was going to be... of my two appointments this week one was for a cleaning, and the other was to replace my silver fillings with something newer.

Turns out that today was filling replacement day, so I'm still a bit sore as I write this. I don't think that soreness has anything to do with the skill (or lack thereof) of Dr. Ryan, but I still can't say that he's an inspiring dentist.

To be sure, my bar for dentistry is quite high. I was only able to go to the best dentist in the world two or three times, but she left an impression. Dr. Mona Nashid (I think) was my mom's dentist when I had outgrown my pediatric dentist. I remember my last trip to Dr. Nashid was a week before I left for the Atlanta Olympics. She's the only dentist I know that stopped the procedure to administer more novocaine after I flinched; I hadn't even requested it, but she was so empathetic towards pain that she made doubly sure her patients felt as little as possible. She looked like she would cry if I walked out in pain. There's no debate: empathy for pain is the #1 skill I want in a dentist.

And Dr. Ryan is still working on it. He's a guy, which puts him somewhat behind the 8-ball, but he showed some signs today. With that, here's the bulleted report:

• His sense of humor continues to be bad. He made a joke about me complimenting the background music that insinuated that if I hadn't liked the music that I would "pay for it."
  
• The first filling was replaced without incident, but as he started to drill the second one I definitely felt some pain. I gave him the "pain" signal and he gave me another shot of novocaine. Now, this was the same thing that Dr. Nashid did, but she never seemed perturbed about interrupting the procedure. Dr. Ryan seemed put out to have to pause for 5 minutes. Not encouraging.
• During the 5 minute pause the hygienist called him a diva. Since my mouth looked a lot like a bass that's been jerked out of pond I couldn't really dig deeper, but this isn't an encouraging sign.
• What I felt like all day:
• I did find out that I am younger than Dr. Ryan. I talked about remembering the music video for Europe's The Final Countdown. He said this aged me, and asked how old I was. I answered "30" and he said he was older than that. My hygienist piped up that she was 24, and it was her iPod that was playing.
• There were no fewer than three instances when the hygienist had to ask Dr. Ryan how to do something, which makes me think she's had her job for about three weeks. Again, there's nothing inherently wrong about that, but it makes me long for my previous hygienist who alternately told me that I looked too young to be taken seriously in business, and said I was getting old when she spotted a few gray hairs.
• Last time I reported the good Dr. was hurrying me along so that he and the staff could get to happy hour. This time he was hurrying me along so that he could go to Belize and drink a lot. Actual quote. Also told me he drank a lot the previous weekend. Not encouraging.
• Lastly, and easily the creepiest thing going on was the mystery 3rd person in the room. There was some dude who hung around for my entire procedure looking over the doctor's shoulder. No one ever told me who he was, or what he was doing. I heard that he was 23 years old, and when he asked a question about how to do something Dr. Ryan kind of told him to shut up. A student? A recently hired hygienist? A homeless dude?
  

So we're not quite at prognosis negative, but we're close. I go in for my cleaning on Thursday, and hopefully I'll get the first hygienist I met, who seemed to be the adult in the office. I'll get the scoop from her. Or, I won't and I'll find a new dentist in the Spring.

Dear Zucchini

Dear Zucchini (and onion) --

I do not have the patience to wait for you to release your liquid. I know the recipe says to turn down the heat so that you cook without browning, but what progress does that show? Obviously browning is a sign of cooking progress. If there is no browning, how am I to tell if there is any progress being made? This seems like a cruel trick... if I just turn up the heat won't everything just finish sooner?

Would someone call the Councils a cab

Seattle politics really aren't that exciting. When I moved here 9 months ago there was a bizarre referendum on how to replace the Alaskan Viaduct (always sweet to have a road closed every six months to see if it's going to fall down). The winner, I'm not joking, was None of the Above. But the scandals are starting to get mildly interesting. The Mayor's son was arrested for being a dirty card dealer or something. And it seems like the various councils in the area are populated with frat boys and sorority girls:

1. A King County councilwoman was arrested for DUI in June.
2. A Seattle City councilwoman was arrested for DUI last week.
3. Another Seattle City councilman was arrested for assaulting his wife, while drunk.

Of course, all of this falls under the category of "alleged" crimes. It's nothing compared to my Mayor 4 Life Marion Berry, but it's better than nothing.

My dentist prefers that you call him Ryan

Technically he introduced himself as Dr Ryan, but I'm pretty sure that I could get away with Ryan. You see, it turns out that my criteria of "closest to my apartment" when search for a dentist out here has led me into the new age of dentistry. Some might call it the New Face of Dentistry. (Seriously, click the link.)

Frankly, it's too early to tell whether I like the new face or the old face of dentistry. I'll be honest: we pretty much accomplished nothing during my first visit. There was a lot of chatting with the hygienist (who used to live in DC, has a husband who knew HBS and Duke people), lots of x-rays taken (and re-taken), and only a few minutes looking at my teeth. There wasn't even a cleaning. For a few minutes it felt like I was getting an estimate on car work, and then, in fact, I got an estimate. Or will, whenever the "encrypted email" arrives.

Since I have no fewer than three more appointments before the end of the year, here are my thoughts about what the future holds:

1. I'm fairly concerned by the website. First, the whole patient/guest thing is dumb. Guess what: one is not a guest if one requires local anesthetic on a visit. Second, look at the website again. Specifically, try and read this. While it's nice to be recognized with Capital Letters, I'd really feel a lot better if the grammar didn't suck. Read the sentence about putting stuff into my mouth and restoring my tooth. WTF?
2. My appointment was at 5, and my visit was definitely rushed because Dr. Ryan was taking his hygienists to happy hour. No joke. This was mentioned at least three times.
3. Rather than asking that I have my previous dental records transferred out here, he told me that he would assume I received terrible care in the past. I actually kind of like that attitude, but only if he brings it strong.
4. He started singing a Siouxie and the Banshees song and we got into an argument as to whether it was Siouxie or Ace of Base. No one should ever mix up these groups. The hygienist actually called Doc Ryan "stupid" for getting them confused. He said he hated to be wrong, and so he rarely was. Hmm. Misplaced intellectual confidence. Not a great sign for a dentist.

So, given all that, why am I going back? Well, others say good things about him, he is convenient, and then there's this:

5. HDTV. And tiny cameras. And digital x-rays. And text message appointment reminders. Ryan has certainly invested in technology, and as everyone knows, I am a sucker for unnecessary technology. I was hooked when I walked in and started signing documents on a computer monitor. When he then showed me photographs of my silver fillings that were starting to deteriorate (I guess they don't last forever) I was smitten. I'm pretty sure that at some point he will integrate the iPhone into my treatment. I'm giddy with anticipation.
   

Ooopen post 2

The story of the 2007 Ooopen

As I mentioned in an earlier post I'm recently returned from the golf tournament that my friends and I have put on for six years now. And for the fifth time in those six years I returned home a loser.

In years past this would have put me into a tailspin of mild depression for a couple of weeks. With excruciating detail I can discuss how my poor play in previous Ooopens cost my team a chance to win:

1. In the first Ooopen I celebrated too soon after securing at least a draw after winning the 17th hole, quickly lost my concentration, and lost 18, costing us a win in fourball.
2. (I actually played well in Ooopen 2, going 3-1-0)
3. In the third Ooopen I was my team's sacrificial lamb in singles, but was even with Dooley (a far superior player) going to the 15th hole. I missed a 3 foot putt that would have put me 1-up. Instead I lost 16, miraculously pushed 17, but couldn't get the job done on 18. I also played atrociously on the par 3s (two doubles, two bogeys), which ended up costing my team the tiebreaker. I yelled at myself for four hours driving home. To this day I could walk you to the exact spot on the green where I missed that putt.
4. My team got blitzed in the fourth Ooopen 7-1, but I Franko and I had a lead against Dooley and Wiseman in the first round going to the 16th hole and lost. Things went downhill from there
5. My team won Ooopen 5. It was great. I still bask in the glory.

Which leaves me with Ooopen 6. I had incredibly high hopes going in. I was the first to arrive in Myrtle, and after picking up the keys to the house I got in a practice round. Shot 83, including birdies on the two hardest holes. It was arguably my best round of golf ever. We spent most of Friday hurrying up to wait... we arrived at the course early, early enough to watch it rain for about an hour. Then we got to wait as they sent out the other crazy people who waited around. Then, well, it started to rain again and they shut the course. The Ooopen did not get off to a very fast start. We made the most of our free time, including introducing some of the Yankee Ooopen participants to Bojangles. It also says a lot about the group of people that we bring together that we had a day of golf rained out and no one got very upset.

Day two started before dawn. My alarm went off at 6am and the sun was still an hour away from rising above the Atlantic. By the time it did we were on the golf course rather than on the beach. Despite gloomy skies and a waterlogged golf course the Ooopen finally got underway. I was paired with Wiseman (undefeated for two years, easily the best record in Ooopen history), and we played great golf. We were playing fourball against Tim Doyle and Chris Zimmer, and we never let them into the match. As a best ball team we shot 38 on the front nine, making seven pars and two bogeys, and made the turn with a four hole lead. Five pushes later and we had a 5&4 victory. Unfortunately the other Marchers (our team decided to call itself Sherman's March) didn't get off to quite the same start (it's tough to beat a guy who gets 15 strokes and shoots 102), and we found ourselves down 2-1.

I'll be honest: I have almost no recollection of my afternoon match. I know that it was back and forth, I know that I played pretty poorly, and I know that Rupert and Zim (my opponents) played pretty well. The loss hurt, but unlike previous matches I can't point to a hole where I made a shot I wish I could have back. The real story from the afternoon was the Jordan/Swennes vs. Feeney/Contarino match. It featured one player making three 10s in a row. Jordan and Bobby were down 11 points at the 8th hole, and came back to tie the match. It's tough to explain how big of a comeback this is, but it's easily the biggest comeback in Ooopen history. Incredible stuff.

Sunday dawned with my team trailing 3.5-2.5. Sunday would end with my team trailing by the same amount. Once again I came up short, although I don't feel as bad about it as other losses I've taken. I challenged Drew Fine, who is easily the best golf in the group. He shot 83. I shot 91. No one else broke 90 on the day. I was frustrated that despite knocking in nearly every fairway I couldn't give myself easy pars. The loss sucked, but it wasn't as devastating as years past.

So I drove out of Myrtle more ambivalent about the Ooopen than each of the previous four years. I think my lack of competitive fire this year was driven by two factors: first, I planned all the golf, so I spent most of the weekend worrying about logistics; second, the win last year released so much pent up stress that I could actually enjoy the event rather than focusing on the competitive aspects. I don't know how I feel about that.

Ooopen post 3: Was winning last year really the biggest accomplishment of my post-college life? Where else can I find an outlet for my competitive streak?

You know it's a great night when

I would have been completely content with my evening after having a great dinner with my friend Fred (in town on a consulting gig). But it was elevated to being a great night when I saw two men jousting in the middle of the street with metal crutches. One of them (who had no shirt on, in the rain) answered the question "Who do you think you are" with "I'm Bill Simmons, b**ch!"

Live Blogging: Genius Math Kid

I've been blogging this morning from a coffee shop in my neighborhood. I'm now watching some guy tutor this little Asian kid in math. But not the typical math that most 5 year olds would learn (he can't be more than 5). They started discussing the importance and history of the null set, have moved on to canonical forms, and are now discussing introductory number theory (real numbers, natural numbers, ordinals, etc).

The tutor just made the statement "I know you've done a lot of calculus."

Seriously, this is math that I didn't even get to in college. And the kid is 5. Maybe 7. Tops.

Golf interlude: Things I've heard on the bus

Time for another installment of "Things that I overheard on the bus."

• A couple of weeks ago I was riding home from work. The guy behind me was talking on the phone for most of the ride. At some point he mentioned that he had spent his day in court. Now, I'm still naive about who has to go to court. With all of my attorney friends I assume that people who go to court are lawyers or potential jurors. It turns out that when you ride a Seattle bus this is not necessarily the case. How did I figure out that this citizen was in court because he had done something wrong?

"Now the guy is saying that I pulled a knife on him"
"Yeah, it's total bulls***"
"Yeah, because if I had pulled a knife everyone in the store would have died."

I nearly choked on my tongue when he said that, mainly because I would pay money to see his attorney's reaction if he actually said that to a prosecutor. It would have been great. In a terrifying "this guy is riding the bus" way.

• The other amusing thing I overheard was not, in fact, on a bus. It was at a bar while I watched the Redskins lose to the Giants. As the game finished one of the waitresses pulled aside the owner to explain why she wasn't going to be at work the next day:

Waitress: I'm going to be late tomorrow. I have to be in court.
Owner: Why do you have to be in court?
W: You'll totally laugh, it's such a joke.
O: [waiting, not expecting to laugh]
W: I got charged with DUI a few weeks ago. Get this: I blew 0.083. I was only .3 over!
O: [Kind of shocked]
W: I know! Isn't it total BS?
O: Um, but you were drunk.
W: Not really. I was only .3 over!
O: But you were legally drunk. Why the hell were you driving?
W: No, you don't get it, I was only 0.083. That's barely over the limit. I'm sure it'll get dismissed.
O: [Fighting urge to point out that small numbers sometimes do matter.]

Weclome to Seattle!

Ooopen post 1

(Yeah, I own those pants.)

People who don't like my golf stories will likely not be interested in the next few blog posts, as I'll be recapping and waxing poetic on the Ooopen Championship, which is the little golf tournament that my friends put on each year.

First post: photos. Click here to see the Championship in pictures.
Next post: The story of the 2007 Ooopen.
Next next post: Was winning the 2006 Ooopen my most significant post-college accomplishment?

Bowling, Lunn, and mouse hockey

After the Soap Box Derby excitement my friends Chris and Sarah (mostly Sarah) invited a bunch of us out to their house for dinner to celebrate a visit from Matt (aka Dumm Lunn) and Samantha.

Several interesting things happened:

1) Chris and Sarah own hunting cats. They look like house cats, but every time I see Chris or Sarah they have a story about a different animal that their cats have killed/maimed/stunned/injured. The cats feel the need to brag about their hunting prowess by bringing their prey into Chris and Sarah's house. This happened while we were there a couple Saturdays ago. We were hanging around after dinner and noticed one of the cats staring under one of the couches. We didn't think much of it until we lifted up the couch and a mouse came running out. This, of course, caused pandemonium in the house. A few minutes later I had a rake in my hand and was guarding one potential escape path like a hockey goalie.

2) After the mouse was scared out of the house (and back into cats' killing fields) we decided to go bowling. We split up into teams of 3: myself, Jay, and Sarah against Chris, Lunn, and Kevin. Lunn bragged about how he rolled a 269 a couple of years ago, so his opening 89 wasn't very impressive. Jay, Sarah, and I racked up two victories in a row.

Then Lunn got hot. The bad guys won games three and four, and we found ourselves in a stalemate. Even though the lanes were closing we had to find a winner. We bowled the 5th game. And unfortunately, we decided to put money on the line.

Ooops. We got slaughtered. I think we lost by 100 pins. Lunn rolled a 173, the best round of the night. My team then found out that games were $5.25 each, and since we each had to pay for 10 rounds, well, a casual night of bowling ended up costing $52. And maybe more, depending on how you factor in the cost of arm rehab. My wrist hurt for most of the week. I got a text message from Chris on the following Friday saying that his shoulder still hurt. I challenge anyone to go bowl 5 games and see what happens.

Just don't tell me when it doesn't actually hurt. I don't need people to tell me what a wuss I am. Oh, and the 3rd classic blunder (behind the Asian land war and going in against a Sicilian when death is on the line) is betting against Lunn after he's made a ridiculous claim that he can't back up. Of course he'll back it up, and he'll do it with this shit-eating grin on his face:

Soap Box Derby

The blog has been out of commission for a couple of weeks. I've been focusing all my attention on the 2007 Ooopen Championship, arguably the most important 3 days on my calendar for any given year. There will be bloggage on the Ooopen over the weekend.

But now it's time for something I'm definitely doing next year: The Red Bull Soap Box Derby. Basically it's like go-karting, only the participants are usually drunk and the vehicles have no engines. Like this:




Literally there isn't much to these things. The real fun comes before they push these down the hill. Each team has to do some sort of dance, there's a theme and costumes and all sorts of good stuff. This year's judges included Sir Mix-a-Lot (of baby got back fame), Nick Collison (of Seattle Sonics fame), Amanda Beard (of Olympic gold medalist and, um, Playboy fame), and maybe some sort of X-Gamer who I've never heard of. But between a hot swimmer and Sir Mix-a-Lot I was enthralled.

Anyways, my buddy Chris has a garage, and I'm pretty sure that we can buy an old go-kart frame to use as a base, and then we just need a theme. Dad -- figure out how to get the old karting crew out to Seattle next September. We'll also need a welder. And a choreographer. And some creativity... here are some of the other participants:

Dead to me: Hilton Hotels

There is a lot of stuff from this weekend that I probably should blog about: mouse hockey, having the proprietor of a restaurant come to our table and tell us that we were "some of the best eaters he had ever seen", the Red Bull Soap Box Derby races*, an epic 5-game bowling match... but all of those have to wait, because I need to use my soapbox to denounce Hilton Hotels.

They closed my account.

It's not obvious why this is so offensive, until you think back to Y2K. I'm not sure where you were that year, but I was in a Hilton Garden Inn in Addison, Texas. For 133 nights. That's right. More than 1/3 of a year. I built up hundreds of thousands of points that year, and ever since I've been bleeding off a few tens of thousands each year. Apparently I haven't done anything with Hilton in the past 12 months. Because that's the reason they shuttered my account, which had over 200,000 points in it (that's about 10 free nights).

I'm just stunned by this. I know that travel companies have been de-valuing points programs with amazing rapidity, but to not give me any warning before closing my account, well, that's just unacceptable. I'm sure I could have found magazines or golf clubs or something.

Anyways, that's it for me and Hilton. They are officially removed from my list of preferred travel providers. That should show them.


* Trust me, there will be blog about this, because it's possible I may dedicate myself to winning this even it 2008. Dad -- get the go-kart guys ready.