To stink or not to stink

As a group Seattlites smell really bad. As I've mentioned before, a lot of people eschew society's demand that they don't smell like animal feces.* Maybe DC smelled equally bad and I managed to not notice for 8 years, but I can't think of a single city I've been to in the world that has a populace this funky. It's one of the things that just puts you over the edge on marginally bad days. All I wanted on Monday was to go home. Instead, I had to endure human stink for the duration of my bus ride, and then again as I walked past the beggars who hang near my post office.

Obviously this sounds callous, and my heart goes out to these people, but Seattle doesn't seem to lack shelters, so I'm not sure what the issue is. I'd love to help if I knew how.

Anyhoo, this is all a lead-in to a story about my experimentation with stinking myself. Soon after moving to Seattle I heard someone talking about how people were starting to link the aluminum in anti-persperant with Alzheimer's. For some reasons I decided that I should immediately stop using products with aluminum... so I went and found some Al-free deodorant.

Now, here's the thing. I'm pretty lucky when it comes to body type in some ways: I'm not hairy. and I don't sweat a lot. I figured this, combined with Seattle's mild climate, would allow me to go anti-persperant free without adverse consequences.

Turns out I was mostly right.

I tried it for a week (this was WAY back in March or April). It wasn't a disaster. No one ever mentioned anything, and I couldn't smell anything amiss as long as I was wearing a shirt, but there were a couple of evenings when I'd change shirts in order to go to the gym and I picked up a certainy, well, funk. That had me worried, but my experiment didn't end until I rode the bus on a particularly warm morning and actually felt myself sweating. It was 8:30am, and I realized that I really was taking a gamble with this whole experiment. Sure, I might not be stinky in the context of a Seattle city bus, but what if I went out for a post work drink and met a girl? There's no explaining away manstink.

And so, I continue to apply a thin layer of aluminum every morning. I wish my fellow Seattlites would do the same.

* To be honest, that may be insulting to animal feces

On dogs

I'm terrified to publish this post. With all the attention that Mike Vick is bringing to the treatment of animals in our society I'm afraid that anything I write that is less than 2000% glowing about dogs will be used against me later in life. This is on top of my long-standing belief that if you were to ask women if they had to choose between a dog-hater and an STD-carrier to date or marry, they would readily choose the STD-carrier.

So let me be clear: I've got no beef with dogs.

I am, however, a believer that there are some places that should be dog friendly, and some places that shouldn't be dog friendly. Specifically, I do not like the idea of dogs in they grocery store. This seems to put me at odds with a significant chunk of Seattle. I was perusing the produce section a couple of weeks ago when I noticed a young woman with carrying a rather hairy purse. Only it wasn't a purse, it was a dog.

Now, I'm not sure why anyone would want a dog that fits into a purse... it seems to defeat the whole purpose. At that point, why not get a cat. But just because your dog is compact doesn't mean that he or she is immediately welcome everywhere he can fit. I've heard stories of dogs going to law school (or maybe that was in a movie), but I don't get my food at law schools. I do get my food at grocery stores, however, and I really don't appreciate people deciding that it's cool if their pet hangs out near my cherries.

Of course, were I to say anything in Seattle I'm sure I would be run out of town immediately, and they would probably hold a protest and demand that Hilary or Obama stake out a position on the topic. Or, more accurately, Seattle would send me a very passive-aggressive letter highlighting the fact that "someone" hated dogs and their presence was no longer appropriate.

Comcast: Upgrading to next-to-worst company ever

I hate to do this, but fair is fair: I can no longer say that Comcast has the worst imaginable customer experience of any of the monopolistic utilities. Since arriving out here on the Left Coast they've been nothing but helpful. Wait times are shorter. Appointments occur on time. CS reps actually seem interested in solving your problem and are equipped with the information to do so. This can't be the same company that provided cable in DC. Just can't be.

Death must be a growth business here

Well, I got my 2nd direct mail piece instructing me how to save money and prepare for my funeral. Seems like they love their death marketing around here. I've got to say... I'd much rather be getting credit card solicitations than funeral marketing pieces. Boo ZIP+4 marketing tactics.

Azamat goes to my gym

Well, kind of. A guy who looks shockingly like Azamat. And trust me, if you've seen Borat you know exactly how awful it would be to walk into a locker room and see, well, what I saw (imagine furry, 350 lb, and naked).

A single, magical animal: Bacon, ham, pork chops, and beef

If this is 100% natural, well, standards for "100%" or "natural" have fallen substantially.

How do you screw up a classic rock radio station

While back in DC I listened to a lot of bad radio. This isn't a total surprise... the demise of terrestrial radio hasn't been news in a decade. That said, I was stunned to the degree to which some stations had declined. Specifically, 94.7, which is now called "The Globe" for some reason. When I left it had been a solid if not spectacular classic rock station. Lots of Stones, Zeppelin, occasionally some U2, etc. Imagine my dismay when I head them play Billy Idol and Gin Blossoms. How sucky are they? Gin Blossoms (who were never good) are now playing gigs at places like Seacrets*.

Anyways, this blog has certainly turned ranty recently, so I won't write 1000 words about how hard it is to screw up a station focused on playing great songs from a single era? Are they actively trying to get people to switch to iPods and Sirius/XM?

* Let me make sure that no one infers that I am dissing Seacrets in the Seacrets/Gin Blossoms concert combo. Seacrets is easily the best bar I've been to in the past 6 months... the combo of bikini contest, in-water drinking area, and boat taxi service is pretty amazing.

Chef Recommends

One in an irregular series of posts about things I like:

• Music: I've been listening to tons of LCD Soundsystem's "Sound of Silver" this year, and I'd say it's my album of the year by a wide margin. Other records in the mix: The National's "Boxer" and Wilco's "Sky Blue Sky".
• TV: HBO's "Flight of the Conchords". The New Zealand accents are funny enough, and while usually I hate shows that actively involve singing, these guys win me over with songs such as "The Tape of Love". Quirky without being too hipster.
• Food: Bacon bleu cheese burgers from Metropolitan Market. Wow. Read that again. Bacon. Bleu cheese. Burgers. Individually they are all champions, but together they are an unstoppable combo. Pippen and Jorden. Kobe and Shaq.

BTW, check out the Wiki page for Thumbs Up. Some pretty good stuff.

They have to inspect roads here a lot

As far as I can remember, roads in DC were never shut down to be inspected. They were closed for repairs or to allow parades or what not, but never for preventative inspections. They seem to do this in Seattle all the time.

Back in the spring they shut down the Viaduct for a weekend (imagine the Whitehurst Freeway if it ran from G'town to the SW Waterfront), and this weekend they are shutting down one of the floating bridges (imagine if I-66 were a bridge from East Falls Church to Tysons).

In principle I think I'm okay with closing roads to inspect them, but it makes me wonder whether Seattle is just WAY to cautious, or if DC just didn't care whether their roads were in danger of collapsing. It's probably a little from Column A and Column B. Regardless, it annoys me because there will be lots of traffic when I go play golf tomorrow.

I'm in the middle of a hipster Indie film shoot

My regular weekend coffee joint has been interrupted by some sort of indie film shoot. It's unclear whether I'm in any of the shots, but there are lots of dark rimmed glasses, oversized aviator sunglasses, tight jeans, and ironic t-shirts nearby. Rather disturbing, frankly.

The best $400 I wish I didn't not spend

I know there will be little sympathy for me from my readers on the East Coast who deal with heat and humidity, but it's been brutally hot out here the past couple of days. Highs have been in the upper 90s, and while it cools off some at night, with daylight until 9:30 it takes a loooong time for the evening to become comfortable. What makes the heat difficult to deal with is the lack of air conditioning in my apartment, and its apparent imperviousness to evening cooling. Huan and I were playing Wii tennis this evening when I decided to measure the temperature. Given this was with a meat thermometer, so it isn't that precise, but here's what I found:

Inside apartment: 92
Outside apartment: 76
Medium rare beef: 140

So while our apartment wasn't quite "rare", it was a full 16 degrees warmer than the outdoors. Huan jokes that he might sleep on the porch. This is sad, but only because I'm jealous he thought of the idea before me.

Sadder still is that I was at Home Depot last night in anticipation of the heat. I decided that a $60 fan would be sufficient rather than following the lemmings that were buying the portable A/C units for $400 a pop. Clearly, I'm an idiot. If it doesn't cool off tomorrow I'm going to spend whatever it costs to get an air conditioned hotel, and if it doesn't cool off the day after that, I'm going to buy an A/C unit.

Half anniversary

Even if I weren't keeping track of how long I've been in town (5 months 14 days), I can tell that I'm approaching the 6 month anniversary because of all the renewal notices I'm getting from various insurance companies. Kind of strange that they operate on six month cycles while virtually nothing else does... everything is yearly or monthly. Wonder why?

Viva Costco Salsa!

When I arrived in DC last Friday I went to have lunch with some ex-coworkers. Sadly, most of them bailed, so I ended up with a man-date with my friend Steve... he blabbered on about some sort of InterWebs business he is starting. The tension broke when my friend Kathy stopped by the restaurant. She brought a gift.

The only salsa worth stealing.

Sadly, la salsa del dios needs to be refrigerated, so I couldn't take it back home to Seattle. Instead I brought it to the little BBQ I attended on Thursday night on my friend Kate's roofdeck. I wondered whether others would think the salsa worthy of the praise I've given it... so I was pleasantly surprised to find that a group of just 7 people at the entire jar. This isn't one of those tiny Tostitos jars either... it's a pretty big container. Now, since this was a pre-dinner appetizer it's entirely possible that people were just hungry and would have eaten anything. But I like to think that they were appreciating how good the salsa was.

Thanks to Northwest for the 26 day notice

My phone rang this past Thursday... I didn't recognize the 866 number but I answered it. Turns out it was an automated dialer from Northwest airlines letting me know that I should check in with Alaska Air when I fly to Denver. What made this unexpected is that I don't fly to Denver until early August. I usually do request flight information be sent to me via text, but usually they send me something a couple hours before my flight, maybe even two days before. Not 26 days.

My friends' wives like nice cars

I had full access to the Curtis family garage this past week, which meant that on average I drove a car that was 14 years old with 105,000 miles. But one of those cars is obviously much nicer than average:


My dad's 911. Purchased off Ebay. Once a suspected drug transporter (with me and my pops at the wheel). A fantastic drive that took me too and from the beach and too and from my friend Brad's wedding. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't hoping to garnish a little extra attention at the wedding by rolling up in a Porsche, even though I was really sheepish anytime anyone asked me if I was driving a 911.

That said, I have to say I am a little disappointed with what kind of attention I managed to attract. It turns out that some really fantastic and beautiful women noticed my ride. One of them even asked me "Can I have a dance with a guy who drives a Porsche?"

Sadly, the girls who liked my wheels all happened to be the same girls who are married to my best friends. Which is obviously less than ideal.

So the car got me nothing. Maybe I'm more of a pickup truck kind of guy.

Photos from the DC trip

Lots of blogging ahead now that I'm back in Seattle. Since it's going to be 90+ degrees here over the next couple of days I'm sure I'll go find an air conditioned place with WiFi to catch up on posts over the next few evenings.

Meanwhile, here are some pics I took while in DC.