They didn't teach this in college

Now, my life has never been stuff that would make the cover of Rolling Stone. Or even the cover of Atlantic Monthly. Or even the Duke alumni magazine. But since moving to Seattle I'd say that my sex, drugs, and rock and roll lifestyle has been dialed back even more. Which is why I have a blog that is filled with stories about various tomato based products.

Sadly, I have another story to add to the list. This one involves gazpacho. When my folks were in town last weekend we ate at a place that had, arguably, the best gazpacho I've ever had. As I gazpacho craftsman I respected the texture and ability to balance the sweetness of tomatoes with just a hint of spiciness. The fact that they also threw in a hunk of crab meat and some sort of guacamole-type foam was just pure overkill (in the "oh my is that good" kind of way, like frosting on a donut is overkill, but overkill you appreciate). The gazpacho used heirloom tomatoes, and since I had seen some good looking heirlooms in the store I decided to try it for myself.

Well, the short story is that the gazpacho turned out okay. I tried some different things this time (red wine vs. balsamic vinegar, less olive oil, no bread in the blender, no straining, basil and green onion instead of cilantro), and none seemed terrible. The problem is that after slicing the garlic and jalapeno I rubbed my eye. Didn't think much of it. And then 30 seconds later I felt pretty much the worst searing pain I've ever felt.

At least since I did this while camping before college in 1995.

On the camping trip there was a really beautiful girl who blew in my eye until the burning stopped. I didn't have one of those handy here in Seattle, so I ran into the shower and stuck my head in while getting undressed so I could really get into the shower. After about 5 minutes the pain went from Terrible to Bad, and after another five minutes it was down to Uncomfortable. I only thought I was going to be blind for 20 minutes or so.

All in all, it was probably best that Huan wasn't here for that because A) it would be embarrassing to do that in front of someone and B) it would have been incredibly uncomfortable to ask him to blow in my eye. One of us would have had to move to Shanghai.