Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The fake druggies on the bus

One of the problems with uptight Seattlites is that no one will stand up to obnoxious people (they probably go home and blog about it rather than doing something). The buses here are often filled with young kids full of braggadocio who talk loudly about who they are having sex with or what drugs they are doing. I had a wonderful experience today sitting in front of three kids who, other than a few extra piercings, look like 95% of the other kids in Seattle... white, nattily dressed in an Urban Outfitters kind of way, probably the sons and daughters of two Microsoft engineers.

Anyways, here are a few of the gems from the conversation. I actually wrote them down:
  • Everyone was referred to by a nickname. But what struck me was how obviously contrived the nicknames were: Insomnia, Blue, Two-tone (or Tu-tone), Ashtray. Except for poorly written Saturday morning tv shows o one has nicknames like that. Real nicknames are ones that the nicknam-ee don't really like. Dickey. Shitty. Gonz. Chazz. Goose. These were the nicknames I knew of in college (Dickey was mine), and no one was really that jazzed about having them (I certainly wasn't). But no one earns Ashtray... they sit around thinking about it and make a declaration "I will henceforth be known as Ashtray."
  • "He's better when he's on meds or on crack." One girl actually said this. While I doubt they know anyone who has actually used crack, they are missing something. No one is better on crack. The term "crackhead" is not a compliment for a reason.
  • They were shocked that undercover cops looked "hella, hella normal." Um, yeah. That's why they are undercover. And this is Seattle. No "hella"s please.
  • All the kids were talking about how they wouldn't snitch if picked up by the cops. One actually said they would rather do 2-3 years in jail than snitch on their friends who were using drugs. Maybe this is true, but I'm sure that mom and dad's lawyers would convince them otherwise. Or, hours 1 through 5 in prison. I'm guessing they wouldn't make the two years.
  • Right before they got off the bus the dude in the group was telling a story about his friend who got jumped because "They knew he wouldn't do anything." Apparently, "they" left him alone because he was from the "west side of Phoenix." Um, since when does that make you hard? Google "Phoenix west side". When the first entry is "Westside Urology", well, you're neighborhood can't be that tough. I could be wrong, but I'm guessing it's no Bronx, Anacostia, South-side Chicago, East L.A., etc.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You do realize that this post makes you the "old guy on the bus" who blogs about "kids today..." I think that you should have banned them from the bus from that point forward.

Tyler said...

Maybe. It wasn't so much that they were young that bothered me, it was that their attitudes were so obviously contrived. Also, I hate everyone who rides the bus... the young kids are loud and obnoxious, the old people struggle to keep their pants on, and the middle-aged people smell really bad.

So I'd ban them all.