Gone, but apparently not missed by all

This guy. As most blog readers know, Huan moved across the pond (the other pond) a couple of weeks ago, and is now running his own rickshaw business in Shanghai. Or doing biz dev for a semiconductor company. One of the two.

Anyways, Huan's parting shot to Seattle was a story on the, um, "urban cougar". Needless to say that everyone with an actual sense of humor who read the article found it hilarious. Everyone I know who reads the Weekly has mentioned how much they enjoyed the article. Obviously it isn't going to win a Pulitzer, but hey, it traces the roots of the term cougar. How great is that?

However, because Huan is the most controversial writer in Seattle alt-weekly history, the story doesn't end with the story. When Huan's name disappeared from Seattle Weekly's masthead the competing paper's news editor ran a blog post that insinuated that Huan had been fired. This was followed up by crappy local blog "Seattlest" posting an article that discussed both alt-weeklies. They felt the need to call out Huan specifically, and asserted that he got canned:

Newly-former staff writer Huan Hsu initiated a seeming race to the bottom. Back in April he started the trend by attacking Real Change's newspaper vendors for not being homeless. But it was sex--the nastier and raunchier the better -- that did him in. On May 16 he wrote an article about dirty-dancing high schoolers. On June 13 was the now-infamous story about a Ballard High School tennis coach and his pseudo-spiritual sexuality, shared with his teenage female wards. Despite the grotesque pun in the title ("Break Point: Ballard High School's New Age Tennis Coach and the Bad News Beavers"), the article led to the coach's dismissal and seemed to vindicate the teen girl navel gazing. On July 11, Hsu wrote a pseudo-environmental piece about new-agey sex-toy sellers protesting phthalates in dildos. Then there was the July 25 attempt at muckraking that recounted wacky, disgusting and lewd stories of Metro Transit buses. But the final nail in Hsu's coffin was the bottom-of-the-barrel Aug. 8 cover story about NW "cougars." Since that story appeared, Hsu has disappeared from the Weekly's masthead.

the Stranger didn't quite seem to know how to spin the story. On Aug. 8, news editor Josh Feit posted a brief announcement on the Slog stating simply that, "Seattle Weekly staff writer Huan Hsu (rhymes with "who?") has left the paper after a brief 5-month stint." No doubt Stranger staffers would have loved to make an issue of Hsu's dismissal following the story, but they're hardly in a position to talk: their editor Dan Savage made his name as the louche sex columnist behind "Savage Love."

(Sorry, I refuse to post a link to Seattlest, since they and their relative city -ist blogs blow.)

There are plenty of holes in the arguments here, but the one that is most absurd is thinking that Huan would get fired because of the stories that had been published. So let me get this straight: the editors assigned him the story, edited the story (it was 5000+ words), put it on the cover, and then decided that Huan's writing was "racing to the bottom" and fired him. Um, writers get fired for lying or not writing stuff good enough to get published. Obviously that wasn't the case. Good thing I'm one of 25 people who read that blog.

Anyways, join me in wishing Huan the best of luck in China. I'll miss him, even if the city doesn't.

Huan is ruining lives

To say that Huan has "blown up" since arriving in Seattle is an understatement. How many writers for alt-weeklies become world-renowned freak dance experts? His stories have been skewered by the blogosphere* before publication and some cover art of a story he wrote pissed off parents throughout the city and made the evening news.

But now he's getting people fired.

That's not a true statement at all. Uptight Seattlites have decided to fire people, most likely based on a story Huan wrote. I found it much more creepy that the high school girls invited Huan to the prom for 30 seconds before he pointed out that it would be "weird." Sadly, he would have been my second post-college roommate to attend prom had the invite been accepted.

All this comes just a week after the wife of a friend of ours got pissed at Huan for writing about Safeco Field's absurd "red card" fan behavior tool and mentioning our friend by name. She was convinced that he would summarily be fired after it became public knowledge that he had both A) gone to a baseball game and B) had a beer.

Why the recap of Huan's Seattle reign of terror? Because I'm terrified of what might happen after he comes golfing with Tyler H and I on Sunday. Theoretically he's going to write about the course, but I'm sure it will be misinterpreted in a way that will cost me my job. Or, worse, get me banned from the golf course.

* I despise the term blogosphere. It's not like the the Interwebs are a physically distinct world that emits commentary. It's easier to publish via the web than via pamphlet, but it's the same idea. Thus that is that last time that the b-word shall be used here.

Being a bad winner

Team Curtis def. Team Hsu

6-1, 6-4

Yes, the mighty former tennis coach has been felled by someone who couldn't even make his high school team. It might have been the shoes (new on Saturday), or the fact that he was playing with a wooden racket, or the fact that my partner was a lot better than his partner, but any way you slice it 6-1, 6-4 is a pretty solid beating. And as I told Huan after the match "I'm neither a good winner nor a good loser." Thus the headline.

I think it might have been the shoes. Gotta love Nordstrom Rack.

I'm starting to hate Duke

In his professional blog Huan does a nice job explaining why this is the one of the worst pieces of sports-writing in 2007. Or ever.

I struggle to find words to describe how upset this makes me. Part of being a Duke fan is recognizing that people hate Duke. If you can't deal with that singular fact then you probably shouldn't be running a website dedicated to cheering on Duke basketball. And you certainly shouldn't write long essays explaining (incorrectly) why people hate Duke.

In case you don't know, here is why people hate Duke:

1. The hating started in the early 90s after the back-to-back championships (think Yankees) and the Laettner stomp. While DBR would have you believe that the stomp wasn't that big of a deal, they miss the whole point. Perception is that Laettner did it on purpose (he probably did); it doesn't matter whether Timberlake was hurt or not. It was a jerk thing to do, and thence started Duke hating.
2. The hate grew in the mid-90s as Coach K started appearing in sanctimonious TV ads and Vitale/ESPN started to broadcast every Duke game. I mean every game. We've been overexposed for a decade. As a fan this doesn't bother me, as it saves me from buying ESPN's college channel. But if something annoys you, and then you see it all the time, well, it probably annoys you even more.
3. The past 10 years have seen Coach K appear in even preachier ads, a resurgence of talent that reinforced the Yankees image, and Battier the flopper. I don't mind K doing the ads... I'd eat glass and live in a barn for a year to get an Amex deal. But the fact that DBR completely ignores his polarizing effect when "analyzing" Duke-hating is just ignorant. Also, I have no beef with Battier... he's a great person, great basketball player, etc. But people didn't like him because they thought he got all the calls. Deal with it.

So DBR needs to understand that the downside of success is that people don't always love a winner. What's especially sad about the essay is that it papers over a very interesting point: why has the hatred toward Duke grown vitriolic? I would feel safe walking down Franklin Street in full Duke gear... there's always been some level of respect between UNC and Duke. But I'd be terrified to even mention that I was a Duke fan in College Park. When VCU knocked Duke out of this year's tournament the entire bar was cheering loudly against Duke (not really for VCU). In Seattle. There were reports of journalist at neutral sites cheering Duke's loss. This is a new, somewhat disturbing trend. One that would be interesting to explore. Unfortunately DBR just whined.

So, in the spirit of Stephen Colbert, I've decided that DBR is dead to me. I can find other sources of recruiting information, and if I really feel like I need to talk to a homer I'll call Jordan, who is still convinced that Duke will go undefeated last year.

Seconds, Returns, and Leftovers

In one of my college writing classes, we did an exercise where we wrote the same story from the points of view of two different characters in the story. It was fun, but it put a lot of pressure on the second point of view. Most of them turned out to be crap, and added little to the story. The same could probably be said of my blog posts.

While TC was clawing his way back to even on the blackjack tables at Tulalip this weekend, I was in the poker room, which was delightfully non-smoking. I hate hearing about people's poker stories, especially their bad losses, so I won't bore you with the minutae of my hands. (Here's how all poker stories go, by the way: "I had the best hand and I put tons of money into the pot and then this guy got totally lucky and I lost." You've now heard every poker story ever told.) Anyway, it turned out to be a fun session because when I stood up, I had more money than when I sat down. Any time that happens, I consider it a success.

As for REI, my family has had a membership for more than 20 years. Some of my earliest memories of Utah are of ratting around the store with my brother while my parents browsed. I decided years ago that that's where I'd want to register when I got married. I don't need sterling silver placesettings or martini shakers or candelabras, thank you. But a kayak? Or a climbing harness? Or a waterproof/breathable soft shell jacket for spring trail running? Yes, please. I'm a big fan of REI. One of the few ways that REI could be more perfect is if it was a leggy brunette that dug Chinese dudes.

So even though I knew that the Seattle REI was the flagship store, I was impressed by just how awesome it was. Here's what the interior and back entrance look like. What you can't see in the second picture (that's a 30-foot waterfall) is the bike trail that wraps around the property. For people to test out bikes, of course. Oh, and there was a sale.

I think I rooted through every sale bin they had there, which were chock full of things I don't need and only kind of want, but was still willing to buy. I'm lucky to have walked out with only a pair of biking shorts (baggy, not spandex, though the padding still makes me feel like I'm wearing a diaper. Not that I remember what that feels like).

And those technical jeans that Tyler mentioned? We got them right here. Maybe if that homeless dude who sat next to Tyler had been wearing these, he would have kept them on.

Lame Celebrity Death Match: Huan Edition

VS

I'm thinking of investing in a plane ticket for Huan so that he can go and fight one of the following deserving people.

1. In the blue corner we have the Delta Zeta sorority, who are newly famous for getting rid of anyone who wasn't thin and white at DePauw Univeristy. When I told Huan about this article on Saturday he steamed for hours. Anyways, I'm pretty sure Huan doesn't punch women, but he might punch someone from DZ national.
2. In the red corner we have Spencer Pratt (the hoser on the left up there). If you don't watch The Hills on MTV then you won't quite understand why he sucks, although reading his myspace page gives you lots of hints. As will this. If you do watch The Hills then you know exactly why Huan wants to beat this guy up: he wears a chain all the time, he uses "mack" as a verb, and he wears a chain.
   

And yes, I'm fully comfortable admitting that I watch The Hills. It's the best I can do at 10:00 on a Monday.

Vote for Huan!

Huan seems to be using all his writing talent for his paid gig rather than adding anything of value to this blog. I think that's complete crap. So post a comment and vote for Huan to make a post! He'll easily cave to popular opinion. After all, he can show his book publisher how popular he is when he submits his next proposal.