To stink or not to stink

As a group Seattlites smell really bad. As I've mentioned before, a lot of people eschew society's demand that they don't smell like animal feces.* Maybe DC smelled equally bad and I managed to not notice for 8 years, but I can't think of a single city I've been to in the world that has a populace this funky. It's one of the things that just puts you over the edge on marginally bad days. All I wanted on Monday was to go home. Instead, I had to endure human stink for the duration of my bus ride, and then again as I walked past the beggars who hang near my post office.

Obviously this sounds callous, and my heart goes out to these people, but Seattle doesn't seem to lack shelters, so I'm not sure what the issue is. I'd love to help if I knew how.

Anyhoo, this is all a lead-in to a story about my experimentation with stinking myself. Soon after moving to Seattle I heard someone talking about how people were starting to link the aluminum in anti-persperant with Alzheimer's. For some reasons I decided that I should immediately stop using products with aluminum... so I went and found some Al-free deodorant.

Now, here's the thing. I'm pretty lucky when it comes to body type in some ways: I'm not hairy. and I don't sweat a lot. I figured this, combined with Seattle's mild climate, would allow me to go anti-persperant free without adverse consequences.

Turns out I was mostly right.

I tried it for a week (this was WAY back in March or April). It wasn't a disaster. No one ever mentioned anything, and I couldn't smell anything amiss as long as I was wearing a shirt, but there were a couple of evenings when I'd change shirts in order to go to the gym and I picked up a certainy, well, funk. That had me worried, but my experiment didn't end until I rode the bus on a particularly warm morning and actually felt myself sweating. It was 8:30am, and I realized that I really was taking a gamble with this whole experiment. Sure, I might not be stinky in the context of a Seattle city bus, but what if I went out for a post work drink and met a girl? There's no explaining away manstink.

And so, I continue to apply a thin layer of aluminum every morning. I wish my fellow Seattlites would do the same.

* To be honest, that may be insulting to animal feces

On dogs

I'm terrified to publish this post. With all the attention that Mike Vick is bringing to the treatment of animals in our society I'm afraid that anything I write that is less than 2000% glowing about dogs will be used against me later in life. This is on top of my long-standing belief that if you were to ask women if they had to choose between a dog-hater and an STD-carrier to date or marry, they would readily choose the STD-carrier.

So let me be clear: I've got no beef with dogs.

I am, however, a believer that there are some places that should be dog friendly, and some places that shouldn't be dog friendly. Specifically, I do not like the idea of dogs in they grocery store. This seems to put me at odds with a significant chunk of Seattle. I was perusing the produce section a couple of weeks ago when I noticed a young woman with carrying a rather hairy purse. Only it wasn't a purse, it was a dog.

Now, I'm not sure why anyone would want a dog that fits into a purse... it seems to defeat the whole purpose. At that point, why not get a cat. But just because your dog is compact doesn't mean that he or she is immediately welcome everywhere he can fit. I've heard stories of dogs going to law school (or maybe that was in a movie), but I don't get my food at law schools. I do get my food at grocery stores, however, and I really don't appreciate people deciding that it's cool if their pet hangs out near my cherries.

Of course, were I to say anything in Seattle I'm sure I would be run out of town immediately, and they would probably hold a protest and demand that Hilary or Obama stake out a position on the topic. Or, more accurately, Seattle would send me a very passive-aggressive letter highlighting the fact that "someone" hated dogs and their presence was no longer appropriate.

Comcast: Upgrading to next-to-worst company ever

I hate to do this, but fair is fair: I can no longer say that Comcast has the worst imaginable customer experience of any of the monopolistic utilities. Since arriving out here on the Left Coast they've been nothing but helpful. Wait times are shorter. Appointments occur on time. CS reps actually seem interested in solving your problem and are equipped with the information to do so. This can't be the same company that provided cable in DC. Just can't be.

Death must be a growth business here

Well, I got my 2nd direct mail piece instructing me how to save money and prepare for my funeral. Seems like they love their death marketing around here. I've got to say... I'd much rather be getting credit card solicitations than funeral marketing pieces. Boo ZIP+4 marketing tactics.

Azamat goes to my gym

Well, kind of. A guy who looks shockingly like Azamat. And trust me, if you've seen Borat you know exactly how awful it would be to walk into a locker room and see, well, what I saw (imagine furry, 350 lb, and naked).

A single, magical animal: Bacon, ham, pork chops, and beef

If this is 100% natural, well, standards for "100%" or "natural" have fallen substantially.

How do you screw up a classic rock radio station

While back in DC I listened to a lot of bad radio. This isn't a total surprise... the demise of terrestrial radio hasn't been news in a decade. That said, I was stunned to the degree to which some stations had declined. Specifically, 94.7, which is now called "The Globe" for some reason. When I left it had been a solid if not spectacular classic rock station. Lots of Stones, Zeppelin, occasionally some U2, etc. Imagine my dismay when I head them play Billy Idol and Gin Blossoms. How sucky are they? Gin Blossoms (who were never good) are now playing gigs at places like Seacrets*.

Anyways, this blog has certainly turned ranty recently, so I won't write 1000 words about how hard it is to screw up a station focused on playing great songs from a single era? Are they actively trying to get people to switch to iPods and Sirius/XM?

* Let me make sure that no one infers that I am dissing Seacrets in the Seacrets/Gin Blossoms concert combo. Seacrets is easily the best bar I've been to in the past 6 months... the combo of bikini contest, in-water drinking area, and boat taxi service is pretty amazing.