Closing the loop on Dr. Ryan

All the data are in. I have no idea what to do.

I made my third visit to the House of Comedic Dentistry a week ago Thursday for my cleaning. Obviously the good doctor wasn't there, as he was in Belize getting hammered on rum drinks, so it was just me and my hygienist. This was not the ditzy hygienist who kept apologizing for messing up during my previous visits, this was a very nice woman named Camilla who used to live in DC and with whom I pleasantly bonded during my first visit.

Anyhoo, the short and long story is that I have no story. She cleaned my teeth, did a little extra work, gave me a toothbrush and floss when I left... it was exactly what you expect from a dental visit. She's comforting and funny, which makes her the exact opposite of everyone else in the office.

So now the question is whether I return. The popular opinion is that I need to get out of there as soon as possible. And if I thought I would have to interact with the dentist I would agree. But as I think about the dentist/patient relationship, well, there isn't much of one. It's all about the hygienist. That's who you spend time with. And to date my hygienist has not made a joke about being drunk or brought unannounced strangers into the room or gotten upset when I paused a procedure. She's a keeper.

The verdict will remain out. I have a follow up visit in December, and that will probably be the tiebreaker. Maybe Belize will calm the good Doctor down.

Turns out that Dr. Ryan is a "diva"

I had my second trip to the dentist today. As you'll remember I was a bit weirded out by the first trip, and I walked into the office with more uncertainty about the outcome of the procedures than I've felt before, at least in a dental setting. To begin with, I wasn't really sure what the procedure was going to be... of my two appointments this week one was for a cleaning, and the other was to replace my silver fillings with something newer.

Turns out that today was filling replacement day, so I'm still a bit sore as I write this. I don't think that soreness has anything to do with the skill (or lack thereof) of Dr. Ryan, but I still can't say that he's an inspiring dentist.

To be sure, my bar for dentistry is quite high. I was only able to go to the best dentist in the world two or three times, but she left an impression. Dr. Mona Nashid (I think) was my mom's dentist when I had outgrown my pediatric dentist. I remember my last trip to Dr. Nashid was a week before I left for the Atlanta Olympics. She's the only dentist I know that stopped the procedure to administer more novocaine after I flinched; I hadn't even requested it, but she was so empathetic towards pain that she made doubly sure her patients felt as little as possible. She looked like she would cry if I walked out in pain. There's no debate: empathy for pain is the #1 skill I want in a dentist.

And Dr. Ryan is still working on it. He's a guy, which puts him somewhat behind the 8-ball, but he showed some signs today. With that, here's the bulleted report:

• His sense of humor continues to be bad. He made a joke about me complimenting the background music that insinuated that if I hadn't liked the music that I would "pay for it."
  
• The first filling was replaced without incident, but as he started to drill the second one I definitely felt some pain. I gave him the "pain" signal and he gave me another shot of novocaine. Now, this was the same thing that Dr. Nashid did, but she never seemed perturbed about interrupting the procedure. Dr. Ryan seemed put out to have to pause for 5 minutes. Not encouraging.
• During the 5 minute pause the hygienist called him a diva. Since my mouth looked a lot like a bass that's been jerked out of pond I couldn't really dig deeper, but this isn't an encouraging sign.
• What I felt like all day:
• I did find out that I am younger than Dr. Ryan. I talked about remembering the music video for Europe's The Final Countdown. He said this aged me, and asked how old I was. I answered "30" and he said he was older than that. My hygienist piped up that she was 24, and it was her iPod that was playing.
• There were no fewer than three instances when the hygienist had to ask Dr. Ryan how to do something, which makes me think she's had her job for about three weeks. Again, there's nothing inherently wrong about that, but it makes me long for my previous hygienist who alternately told me that I looked too young to be taken seriously in business, and said I was getting old when she spotted a few gray hairs.
• Last time I reported the good Dr. was hurrying me along so that he and the staff could get to happy hour. This time he was hurrying me along so that he could go to Belize and drink a lot. Actual quote. Also told me he drank a lot the previous weekend. Not encouraging.
• Lastly, and easily the creepiest thing going on was the mystery 3rd person in the room. There was some dude who hung around for my entire procedure looking over the doctor's shoulder. No one ever told me who he was, or what he was doing. I heard that he was 23 years old, and when he asked a question about how to do something Dr. Ryan kind of told him to shut up. A student? A recently hired hygienist? A homeless dude?
  

So we're not quite at prognosis negative, but we're close. I go in for my cleaning on Thursday, and hopefully I'll get the first hygienist I met, who seemed to be the adult in the office. I'll get the scoop from her. Or, I won't and I'll find a new dentist in the Spring.

My dentist prefers that you call him Ryan

Technically he introduced himself as Dr Ryan, but I'm pretty sure that I could get away with Ryan. You see, it turns out that my criteria of "closest to my apartment" when search for a dentist out here has led me into the new age of dentistry. Some might call it the New Face of Dentistry. (Seriously, click the link.)

Frankly, it's too early to tell whether I like the new face or the old face of dentistry. I'll be honest: we pretty much accomplished nothing during my first visit. There was a lot of chatting with the hygienist (who used to live in DC, has a husband who knew HBS and Duke people), lots of x-rays taken (and re-taken), and only a few minutes looking at my teeth. There wasn't even a cleaning. For a few minutes it felt like I was getting an estimate on car work, and then, in fact, I got an estimate. Or will, whenever the "encrypted email" arrives.

Since I have no fewer than three more appointments before the end of the year, here are my thoughts about what the future holds:

1. I'm fairly concerned by the website. First, the whole patient/guest thing is dumb. Guess what: one is not a guest if one requires local anesthetic on a visit. Second, look at the website again. Specifically, try and read this. While it's nice to be recognized with Capital Letters, I'd really feel a lot better if the grammar didn't suck. Read the sentence about putting stuff into my mouth and restoring my tooth. WTF?
2. My appointment was at 5, and my visit was definitely rushed because Dr. Ryan was taking his hygienists to happy hour. No joke. This was mentioned at least three times.
3. Rather than asking that I have my previous dental records transferred out here, he told me that he would assume I received terrible care in the past. I actually kind of like that attitude, but only if he brings it strong.
4. He started singing a Siouxie and the Banshees song and we got into an argument as to whether it was Siouxie or Ace of Base. No one should ever mix up these groups. The hygienist actually called Doc Ryan "stupid" for getting them confused. He said he hated to be wrong, and so he rarely was. Hmm. Misplaced intellectual confidence. Not a great sign for a dentist.

So, given all that, why am I going back? Well, others say good things about him, he is convenient, and then there's this:

5. HDTV. And tiny cameras. And digital x-rays. And text message appointment reminders. Ryan has certainly invested in technology, and as everyone knows, I am a sucker for unnecessary technology. I was hooked when I walked in and started signing documents on a computer monitor. When he then showed me photographs of my silver fillings that were starting to deteriorate (I guess they don't last forever) I was smitten. I'm pretty sure that at some point he will integrate the iPhone into my treatment. I'm giddy with anticipation.