A caucusing we will go

I like democracy. I'm not so sure that we need to start wars to promote democracy in other places, but it seems to work pretty well here. One of the nice things about democracy is that it's relatively easy: I go somewhere, I vote, someone counts it, done. Sometimes I can mail my ballot in, meaning I don't even have to go somewhere.

But not now.

I got a ballot for the Washington state primary in the mail last week. After the relatively even Super Tuesday results I became excited that my vote would actually count. I filled out my ballot and mailed it in.

And then I found that it would count for exactly nothing.

Turns out that Washington state has both a caucus and a primary. And the primary doesn't count, at least not for the Democrats. And it only kind of counts for the Republicans. So rather than being able to choose my parties candidate from the comfort of my own home I now have to spend some time (one hour? three? ten?) on a Saturday to go stand around and caucus.

I haven't yet decided on a caucus strategy. I'm probably just going to stand around and hope that no one bothers me. But I may also decide to pledge my vote to someone stupid, like Mike Gravel, and start yelling at people who think that Hillary or Obama are the better candidate. Gravel: any man who throws a rock into a pond on YouTube can be my president. Or, I may choose to just walk around and scream "Ca-CAW!" like Gob on Arrested Development. You know, caucus. Ca-CAW! That's comedic genius.

Required listening (if it really happened)

DC radio has become so terrible that I listened to C-SPAN radio for a portion of my drive home tonight. Even though I can't find any proof on the C-SPAN website I swear that I listened to a Minor Candidate Republican Debate. It was fantastic. Way more interesting than any of the real presidential debates. Some highlights:

• The first candidate I heard was discussing states rights. He was approximately as well spoken as a ninth grade. I actually wondered why C-SPAN was airing a (bad) high school debate match.
• One of the candidates managed to dismiss both states rights and (whatever is the opposite of states rights) in the same answer. Say what you will about political double speak, but it is rare when a candidate nullifies his own answer in the same breath.
• Easily the best answer of the evening, and the reason for this post, was the Boy Scout answer. The candidates (there were maybe 8 of them) were asked what kind of people they would nominate to the Supreme Court. One of the candidates said he would only nominate a Boy Scout. Not a metaphorical Boy Scout, but a literal Boy Scout. It would seem that they are taught a moral code consistent with the legal philosophy espoused by this particular candidate.
  

Seriously. This is why "minor" candidates should get more coverage. Who wants to hear "real" candidates prattle on about judicial temperament when all that needs to be said is "Scout*."

* This is not at all intended to be a sleight towards Scouting. It is fully intended to be a sleight towards this particular politician.

Would someone call the Councils a cab

Seattle politics really aren't that exciting. When I moved here 9 months ago there was a bizarre referendum on how to replace the Alaskan Viaduct (always sweet to have a road closed every six months to see if it's going to fall down). The winner, I'm not joking, was None of the Above. But the scandals are starting to get mildly interesting. The Mayor's son was arrested for being a dirty card dealer or something. And it seems like the various councils in the area are populated with frat boys and sorority girls:

1. A King County councilwoman was arrested for DUI in June.
2. A Seattle City councilwoman was arrested for DUI last week.
3. Another Seattle City councilman was arrested for assaulting his wife, while drunk.

Of course, all of this falls under the category of "alleged" crimes. It's nothing compared to my Mayor 4 Life Marion Berry, but it's better than nothing.